Entrepreneur Confessions to VCs (Not!)

Here we focus more on businesses that are less tech-driven, more driven by other sectors of the economy. However, I thought a few excerpts from the OnStartups article, Things Entrepreneurs Never Confess To Their Investors, would be entertaining. The ones I directly quote are in quotation marks. My own personal comments are not. Enjoy. (And I’d love to hear your personal comments!)

” You know that candidate you introduced me to? Well, he was kind of a schmuck.” Interpretation: You are a significant funder so I don’t feel comfortable telling you when I think you’ve made a serious mistake.

“We had our management team meeting yesterday and we’ve concluded that we’re kind of screwed.” Interpretation: Things are not going anywhere to plan, let alone how we told you things would happen. We think our plans are what you based your decision to invest on so you won’t want to hear what we have to say.

Audits take a close look at financials.

“Back in college, when you “audit” a course, it meant you just tried it out and see if you liked it. Why does “auditing financials” have to be so intense?”

Hah! As a former CFO, I love this one! The beauty of the English language, with subtle different definitions for the same word. Admittedly, an audit can be excruciating if you’ve never done one before and you’ve had several years of business (and the associated financials) under your belt. Just remember how Enron’s audit by Arthur Anderson partners in Houston brought down the entire Arthur Anderson firm and you’ll understand why an audit is so extensive and intense. Also, you have to get your money’s worth, right? Audits aren’t cheap!

To read more of this highly entertaining article, Things Entrepreneurs Never Confess To Their VCs, click on the highlighted title. There are actually 16 “confessions”, so I’ve only grazed the surface by quoting three.